O the travails of the white male progressive. Always stumping for other oppressed people but always being the lowest card in the deck in Victimhood Poker. If only there was a way for them to store treasure in Leftist Heaven simply by being made in its hydra-headed god’s image.
Enter Vikings punter Chris Kluwe as the coming Messiah and Les Carpenter playing John the Baptist’s voice crying in the wilderness. Mr. Kluwe’s foul-mouthed emanations first stunk up my internet radar shortly after the release of the video game X-COM: Enemy Unknown. Apparently the developers of this (granted, excellent) game found out that Mr. Kluwe was a gaming enthusiast and added him as a playable character in the game. My first reaction was positive and I liked the novelty. Then I looked him up. Warning: this link here in addition to being full of the hoary belchings of Official Mendacity is also laced with obscenities.
Now Chris is being let go. While I am fully familiar with football’s rules and occasionally tune in, I have no knowledge of inside football, so I am relying on the general consensus of the commenters at Mr. Carpenter’s article that say that while Mr. Kluwe is good, he is not 1.3 million-dollars good and therefore it is justifiable that the management doesn’t want to keep him. But that does not stop Mr. Carpenter from declaring that none of us are worthy to stoop down and loosen the laces on Chris’s cleats. “In fact he had been a very effective punter, deadening his kicks as if his leg was a 9-iron.”
So, according to Les the Baptist, the real reason Chris is being let go must be because we Pharisees and Scribes who doubt must be homophobic. And there you have it: the white male heterosexual jock has found a way into the sanctum sanctorum. Just recite the creed, “I believe in same-sex marriage” and you’re in.